Regrets, I Have a Few! (Being a new mother means feeling a need to say I'm sorry.)

I got my"Parents" magazine in the mail this week. I don't know how many of you get "Parents", but I have always liked getting it. The article I really related to and thought was hands down the best one was titled "Regrets, I have a few" (it is on pg. 82-84 of the magazine written by Merrin Dungey) Even though I have boys and she talks about a girl...I still could relate to the early days of being a new mom. I called my friend Katie today to make sure she had read it because she is a new mom and we laughed so hard... so, if you are a new mommy or are a veteran mommy you have to read the following! (So hilarious!)

Since I had my first child three months ago I've dealt with an endless string of sleepless nights, the relentless cycle of feeding and pumping and changing and comforting, and the slow realization that my life will never be the same again. Now that I've emerged from the fog of being a new mommy, I have a few things I need to say.
I want to start by apologizing to my vagina. I just... I just didn't know what was going to happen. I thought it would be easy. All my life I'd been told I have "child-birthing hips." That turned out to be a dirty lie. I pushed for three hours, and I put you, dear vagina, through hell. I did my best to protect you, and I apologize. I can only hope that the bad feelings between us can be healed. This relationship has gotten really painful, and it's been weeks now. Please let the healing begin.
I'd also like to say I'm sorry to my husband for all my inappropriate name-calling in the delivery room and the resentment I felt because I had to carry our child for nine months and you didn't.I will have sex with you again someday, don't hold your breath or anything, but we'll get there. I'll wear attractive lingerie again as well. These grandma underpants aren't forever!
And honey... about my boobs. While I appreciate your attempts to touch them, try to understand that they are not for you at this time. These are working breasts, they are under construction at the moment, and we appreciate your patience. It's funny: I can see a mixture of fear and delight in your eyes at the size of them. And trust me, they are something to fear. I never thought a boob could dwarf the size of my baby's head, but it is true. Little Emma's bravery in attacking them day after day is impressive. I must apologize to her as well. I had no idea they would operate in a sprinkler fashion, and I have sprayed her in the face many, many times. But the way she fights through it is quite something.
I apologize to every woman whose baby shower I attended before I became a mom. All those useless stuffed animals and baby booties I bought... well, I'm sure they might have come in handy at some point, but I should have stuck to the registry and gotten things you truly needed.
I apologize once again to my husband, this time for criticizing you about the way you dress our daughter. I know she's my very own personal doll come to life, and I like to play dress-up. But you make such weird choices. Why would you put her in a sweater when it is 85 degrees outside? It's the middle of the day-a night-gown really? It's bedtime, sweetheart, why is she wearing a hat? I recognize this is not America's Next Top Model, but I do ask you to think about what makes sense sometimes. That's all.
I must apologize to every new mom ever bumped into before I had a baby for judging your appearance. I mentally criticized your old sweatpants, your over sized T-shirts, and your haphazard ponytails. I figured you just hadn't taken the time to get ready before you went out or were in dire need of a makeover. Now I understand those precious minutes you savor when the baby goes down for a nap- the desperation to make the most of them. I could shower! I could eat! I could sleep! Check my e-mail! Work-out! Do laundry! Have sex! (Well, maybe not just yet, but...) I could do so much if she would just sleep a little longer. Then, inevitably, there's that sound through the baby monitor. (Stop.Wait.Listen.) Was it for real?... That was just a sneeze, right? ... She's not up,right?... Oh, please, I'm almost done eating, the coffee's finally ready, I thought I could shower. Just five more minutes please. Just... nope. She's up. She's hungry. She's wet. She's something. And once you've got her fed and changed and played with her, you're on the clock to get that errand done before it all unravels again. I get it now: There is absolutely no time for a blowout or blusher, I was a complete jerk, and I am sorry.
I see how people look at me- with that mixture of pity and disgust- in my old nursing tank covered in spit-up and the same maternity shorts I wear every day. I'm like the Elephant Man. I put my daughter in fancy clothes to compensate for the monster pushing her around. I see the stares. I know what you're saying. Well to heck with you, you small-pants wearing Miley Cyrus fan. I just had a baby. I am not always this fat!
I guess I should apologize for my anger but in solidarity with new moms everywhere, I'm not going to.
But I would definitely like to apologize to my former self, I always thought I had a few pounds to lose and could look better. I never knew how great I had it. What I wouldn't give to fit into my old clothes again! I look at them longingly day after day. Hi, jeans. Hello, Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress. You were all so good to me. (sniff)
I should have slowed down and enjoyed my freedom more when I had the chance. I used to beat myself up if I slept past eight or stayed out too late. I was a fool. A fool. What did I know? Oh, to do anything at all at a leisurely pace- shop, eat, read a newspaper- and anything without having to wear a monitor. Waiting. Listening. For her.
While I'm sending regrets I should apologize to my pre-baby boobs for not appreciating them enough. They were a great pair of boobs- not to big, just enough decolletage. And now... sigh... who knows what will be left of them once I stop nursing? I'm sorry, former boobs. I truly am.
I'll never be sorry about deciding to become a mother, though. There may be no going back to my old body or my old lifestyle, but having Emma is worth everything I've had to give up and then some. But you already know that. :)


(Thanks Katie for letting me take this off your blog...glad you took the type to put it on there)

Clay Memories

I finally updated our Clay Memories website. Check it out! We have been busy!

HPD

So today we had fun little outing with the family. We went to the Houston Police Academy for their "learn about being a police officer week". I don't know what it is really called, but that works. It is really for school kids I guess, because their were probably 500+ kids there, but my kids loved it. They had different tents set up with each unit of the police force. So there was the dive unit, S.W.A.T., domb unit, K-9, horses, motorcycles, helicopter, and I'm sure there were others. Each tent had all their equipment and the kids were able to ask questions. They did a high speed chase and included the helicopter...which the boys loved! It was really really cool. And it was really neat for Wes, since he is wanting to join HPD. (Please keep praying for him that he gets in and if not...that we know what God wants us to do) We were able to learn a lot and get to see the academy too. In the car on the way home Sam keep telling us that he was to be a police man and help get the bad cars when he gets big like his daddy.

Busy, Busy, Busy!!!!

WOW! I can't believe how much has happened in the last month. We have been going non stop! After Easter Mom and I painted for two weeks straight! I am so thankful that Wes could stay home with the boys. We were able to get all our plates done that we needed to for Mother's day. I going to try and update our website later with all the new plates. We did probably 70 plates in 2 months and about 30 of them the last two weeks! Then it was Micah's birthday and our trip to Tulsa. We are finally getting back to normal around here. Mom and I still have a few more plates to finish from our last party...and of course we are both sick. Things are not going to slow down much...but at least I can catch up on blogging. Sorry for those of you that have been wondering what happened to me...I am still here and thanks for caring!! So...you have lots to read if you want to catch up on the Fikes. Enjoy! 

Happy Mother's Day!!! 

I hope all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day! 

The boys got me flowers...red and pink because Sam has decided that those are my favorite colors, even though my favorite color is just red. And Wes got me a blanket with the boys pictures all over it. I love it!!! I love being a mom so much...I can't find words to describe it. My heart melts everytime they say " I love you Mommy" which I am sure that all of you understand. And we were lucky enough to spend the day with my mom and all my family. Audrey has not left for London yet and is living with mom and day until the end of the month so we get to see her alot! I hope that I will be the same kind of mom to my boys that my mom was to me. She is my best friend and someone that I admire so much! I love you Mom!!! 

Here are the boys ready for church on Mother's Day

BeBop and the boys

Mommy and her boys

My sweet Sam

BeBop and Sam

Aren't their matching Mom shirts cute?

Watching a movie with PopPop

Outside fun after lunch

Sam and Micah, 

I love you very much! 

Thank you for a perfect Mommy's Day!

Trip to Tulsa

All of my Mom's family lives in Tulsa and it had been too long since our last trip. 

So... I packed the boys up and we jumped on a plane to Tulsa

with Mom and Audrey for a week in Tulsa. 

My cousin Melissa has two boys. Sean, who is Micah's age and

Christian... is brand new! 

The boys with MamMaw

We had a great time playing at the park and being together

This was Micah's first time to fly and Sam was a baby when he flew last, 

so...they were really excited! 

They did a great job! 

I was so glad to have Mom and Audrey there to help! 

We had a fun trip! I loved flying with the boys...

so much better than 8 hours in the car! 

Happy Birthday Micah James!!!

My baby is now 2 years old!!! 

I can't believe it! I don't know where the time goes. 

We had a Cars/McQueen Birthday Party because the kid is obsessed! 

It was great because we already had so much we could use. 

So Welcome to the Fikes Motor Speedway! 

Here is the Birthday Boy! 

The cake that Mom and I whipped up! 

I almost didn't make a cake, but Sam had one...

so Micah had to have one too. 

And the cupcakes...

Kids tables with their Sand Buckets for the favors

 (Gotta love the Dollar Tree)

Aunt Audrey, Uncle Taylor, and Uncle Justin surprised Micah with a 

huge McQueen jumper! 

He loved it!!! 

My family, we were so excited that Uncle Taylor was home from London. 

(At least for a few days)

Micah loves his Uncle Taylor! 

Chris and Tonya drove all the way from Abilene to join in the fun! 

We even had races...

The first heat was the little guys. 

Then the big boys got to race. 

Sam was determined to win! 

All the big boys

Micah got to start the race for the big boys

Trying to get a family picture...

Didn't quite get what I wanted. 

Everyone had a great time! 

And of course...

we had to go to CiCi's after the party. 

Micah's favorite place to eat! 

It was a great day! 

Happy Birthday Micah James! 

Pre-Birthday Fun

Micah James turned two on the 2nd and the Thursday before Mom and Dad took us to a jumping place because Micah's favorite thing to do is jump! 

Dad was tired after about 10 minutes

We had a great time and Micah loved it! 

Thanks BeBop and PopPop!